This year, especially, it hurts.
But it is beautiful still.
Spring seems to be more a time in between than it's own being. More or less a reversed twilight, more or less a glimpse, more or less a friend I wish could stay longer. Seasons coming and going, never content to stay until it's too late, always after I have become comfortable in the day to day of their reign; winter to spring, spring to summer.
The wheel rotating again.
But I can not deny the beauty of her stay. The days fond to the sun, the color returning to the cheeks, moments weighted, held tight. It rains and it shines, sometimes both on particular days, and the earth, in it's turning 'round, sees fit to blossom in colors new to me, or at least unexpected. The drought has left for a time with the gift of rain God has given to us, and His fingers ruffle the foundations of the grass and the trees and the flowers; they blossom at His touch.
And it is beautiful.
These photos, I realize, are not really pertinent to spring and it's metaphors. Perhaps the opposite is true, the wall again hit, no spring to draw strength in new life, just fighting the road blocks.
I created these on a day where I just wanted to make something simple. Me and the wall, again meeting, the metaphor and the reality. I wanted to practice and see the different emotions I could convey with just me and a blank canvas. The resulting photo shoot had around 100 images in it... Maybe there was too many emotions.
Never the right pose, never the right emotion, and every angle seemed to be wrong.
I looked through them all much later, frustrated that the shoot took so long and that I didn't feel connected to the photo's like I thought I would. The different emotions of each pose flew by on my screen, the shades of them all blurring in indifference. But these two stood out from the rest, the top one catching me by surprise as I didn't really remember seeing it when I was taking all the photos. As if I created something by accident, as if I was not the one taking the photo but just the character fully in the moment.
The spring has come, and although I feel it in my bones, I am taking time to enjoy it in full, a practice I am not used to.
And it is beautiful.
So, below are some behind the scenes photos of things that worked and things that did not from that day with the wall. Enjoy.
Successfully cut off my head in this image without photo shop...
Yep, I had the remote in my mouth the entire time. This was taken as I was running back to the camera before it could refocus after it took a picture.
What ever took hold of my left hand in this photo I will never know.
What is your favorite part of spring?