Yet, with this said, things, as they are, are not altogether as bad as we can think them to be, or perhaps, as bad as we make them out to be. It is a wondrous thing when one makes it through those things we just simply don't want to do, reluctantly dragging our feet to go where we know we must go, yet coming out on the other side still breathing, still smiling, finding joy even after the long days filled with imagined failures.
As it has lately been for me.
These past few weeks have been somewhat of a blur. Getting over the jet lag of my 11 hour flight home from my adventures across the ocean has muddled my thoughts as I dwell mentally in another time zone. I suppose I will still be there for awhile, even now that I'm pretty sure I'm over the late nights and drowsy days; sort of. But part of me stayed in that place, and I don't suppose it will ever leave my being, it simply is, here and there, within and abroad. I miss Beijing.
Yes, as I slip back into the here and now that is my normal life, coffee in hand of course, my days seem to blend together, just another sunrise that melts into sleep with nothing in between and so forth and so on and never ending it seems. I will admit, I have been in what some may call a creative drought. Waking moments seem to be endless and finite all at once, there is never enough hours of sunlight for me to be and do and try all that I wish; and then there are times when it just seems that the earth has stopped its celestial travels and all I want is to go back to my cove between linen and pillow and simply slip away from the never ending noise. Writing, especially, has been difficult, the ink of my thoughts bleeding through the paper rather than inscribing anything on it; that torrent in my head crashing, drowning, dim and obscure, eventually washing up upon a barren shore.
These times can be difficult, yes. It is all I can do some days to simply be alright with what ever I am creating, to refrain from destroying the beauty of the mundane with doubt and worry. But I must remind myself that yes, indeed things, as they are, are not always as bad as we can think them to be, or perhaps, as bad as we make them out to be. Especially when we try to create what is that turret in our beings, that tapestry that is our imagination. I think that is the greatest blessing I have found during these past few weeks, that there is joy in the unwanted moments, it just takes a willing heart to see it.
Also learned through these weeks... sleep is very important. I wish I was better at it.
So I have decided to create a little series, if that is what one may call this, where I'll share some things that have most inspired me recently. A Musing We Will Go. Of things that help me get out from underneath the blindfold that holds back ones soul from the heart, that help me see the joy in this world. I have seen this done before, and it was really inspiring for me, and so I decided to provide it here on my little blog. I hope you, too, can find something that speaks to your being here in my little space.
~First, a photo that I took, rather hastily, a few weeks ago, right before I departed across an ocean. All of it is simply wishful thinking. Candles, spiced tea, a sweater (yes that's a sweater...prop camouflage at it's best right there). It is a longing for an Autumn that is slow in coming.
~Restless by Audrey Assad
You dwell in the songs that we are singing,
Rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart.
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between our frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart
And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I am restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You
It is a song that has been drifting through my house recently, a perfect ode to the clear light as of late. It makes one pause and think, really think, of everything one is and where one might be in this world, the rush and hurry that it is, and reminds me, simply, of what I should rest in when I am restless. Whenever it comes on my Spotify play list, it is as if a window has been swung wide open upon my mind, and I greatly breath in the fresh air and warm morning light that is this song.
~These Orange Blossom & Honey Cinnamon Buns are just heavenly looking. And Nathaniel's blog and Instagram have been a huge source of inspiration for my baking endeavors, however small those may be.
~ This photo, and quite honestly the entirety that is Brooke Shaden, have always ignited my imagination. Currently, I am re-watching a class of hers on Creative Live that has helped me learn many things when it comes to the labyrinth that is editing, conceptualizing, shooting, and finalizing a photo.
~ Honey Whole Wheat Bread accompanied with an enchanting blog post that I just love. I think, perhaps, this is something I could actually pull off.
So now my friends, I must go and edit and knead and churn over the photos that I have gathered.
I wish you all an inspiring week.